Early adulthood is a time where people seek out relationships. Human development specialist have coined this as a time in which people figure out if they want intimacy or isolation. But let’s be honest with ourselves, how many people have actually sat down and prepped themselves for a serious relationship? This post has 5 soulful questions to ponder before you start seriously dating.
Let’s face it, romantic comedies and childhood stories have completely foiled how we think about dating. Everyone wants the fairy tale, where we are swept off our feet. We want the love at first sight but are not in the position to be lifted. In dating, we have all these wants but are sometimes are not complete enough to receive what we want. In dating, it’s important to have as little baggage as possible to facilitate a healthy relationship. These questions will help you look within to prepare for long-term relationships.
1. What Do I Want Out of Life?
Everyone has different visions of what they want out of life. In your search to find the perfect partner, you want to find someone who can see your vision too. Over time this could change, so it doesn’t have to be set in stone, but you should have a general idea. Think about it, if you for sure want children, would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? Knowing what you want helps eliminate partners who are not a fit for you.
2. Are My Expectations Reasonable?
Most people have a full range of expectations and don’t even realize they do. Expectations are things that you anticipate happening in your life. They can range from objects to events. Sometimes we expect things that are completely unreasonable for the situation we have. In dating, you want to make sure your partner is aware of your expectations and they align. That person may not always agree but at least you know ahead of time. Sometimes our expectations can be totally off for our lives so you need to check them and make sure they are plausible.
3. Do I Like Who I Am?
If you don’t like yourself, how do you expect someone else to like you? Can you be alone with yourself or do you always need to feed off of another’s energy? Relationships are tough. Imagine spending the rest of your life with another person. If you are only pulling from that person you are going to get bored and tired really quickly. You have to be able to bring something to the table, and that starts with knowing and enjoying who you are. Take a deep long look at yourself in the mirror, do you like who you are? If you don’t, take time to think about ways to get there.
4. Is My Mind Open Two New Things?
Dating is an adventure, is your mind open to different things and new experiences? In the event that your morals and values don’t align, are you open enough to see and do things differently? All of these things are important to take into consideration. Relationships are a combining of at least two people’s ideas, there is a always going to be friction there. But, what helps to ease the situation if you are open enough to see many sides and try new things.
5. What Vibes Do I Put Off?
Everyone has a vibe or energy that they put off into the world. People are attracted to our vibes for different reasons. Before you start dating you want to check the vibes you put out. This is really affected by your thoughts and things you tell yourself daily. Sometimes we get so used to the messages we tell ourselves that we don’t even realize it changes how people see us. So if there are things that you have an unhealthy obsession with or a really negative attitude, you may want to address those before starting a relationship.
These questions help us take a look at our current selves and see where there may be room to grow. You won’t go into a relationship perfect but it’s good to be prepared and put your best foot forward. Getting your mind right is definitely not an easy task but unloading the baggage prior to dating is a highly important task. How else do you preparing for relationships? Show some love in the comments below and be sure to share this post!
until next time…
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