I’m sure at this point in your adulthood, you probably hate opinions. I know I do! An opinion is a thought or judgment formed about something usually not based on fact or knowledge. Nowadays It seems like everyone has an opinion and they are ready to strike no matter how insensitive or hurtful it can be to those around them. This Soul Sunday I am reflecting on opinions plus sharing how to handle and share them.
I’m going to take you back to when I was planning my wedding three years ago. I, of course, had my own vision in mind. It was a very clear vision of blush and gold, with flowers everywhere in a castle. I wanted to be a queen for a day. My mother, wanted us to get married in a hotel. My husband wanted a small backyard wedding, and his family agreed with him. There were several opinions on that matter, and really only one mattered, the couple’s. However, it didn’t stop the opinions from coming and being argued about.
Everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to be heard. Humans have a need to be validated and a yearning to be right. Unfortunately, humans have a hard time with rejection and criticism as well. So when you are trying to be heard, and someone disagrees, it feels like they are rejecting you personally, and that can be painful. But a differ in opinion isn’t a rejection. It’s merely a differ in opinion.
Anyone could have an opinion. But, would you say something to intentionally hurt another person? People do get hurt when you say something based on assumption. It also seems demanding, inconsiderate and appears controlling when you give an opinion that was not requested. Usually, that is the total opposite of what people are trying to accomplish when they share. Ultimately what you want is to express your feelings and be heard to help those around you. So how do you do that? Here are my tips:
Ask yourself what are the facts?
When you know the facts you are basing your thoughts and judgments on what is true not what you feel. The facts are important because it takes away inaccuracies. The tricky part is many people no longer know how to search for facts or often twist them to benefit themselves. The best place to find facts are in research studies and peer review articles.
Contemplate if it’s Necessary to Be Shared
Does your voice really need to be heard in this moment or are just speaking to speak? We all love to play the devil’s advocate every once in a while but that should not be your soul purpose in life. Check your motives, if you are finding yourself in a moment when you just want to be heard, decide if that is truly the moment for you.
Check Your Emotions
No matter how you word it opinions are always wrapped in emotions. When people receive your opinion they receive it with their own emotions. What message are you emotions sending? What message do you want to be received? If you begin answering these questions and find yourself feeling some sort of way, then perhaps its time to hold on to those opinions.
Think About The Consequences
Once you say something it could never be taken back and WORDS MEAN THINGS. What you say you can affect your friendships or the way people think about you. It may seem like a joke or just a thought in your mind, but words send messages to other people. So if you share a message that is cloaked in racism, sexism, bigotry or anything that’s injust it could deter people from wanting to be around you.
Don’t Bother Arguing Against Another Opinion
People share their opinions to be heard. Somewhere deep down they want to be included, advocate for others, or fear that their lives could be a detriment in some way. No matter what that person feels, their opinion is somehow wrapped around that feeling buried deep down inside. There are also deep-seated values that wrapped up in there as well. So really you’re not arguing the thought you’re arguing against years of emotions and values placed in a statement. That opinion will most likely not change in that instance and will only fuel a fire.
At the end of the day, people will say and think what they want but it doesn’t have to affect you. Do what makes you happy and have the courage to follow your heart. However, remember what you say is meaningful. You deserve to be heard but not at the expense of those around you. How do you feel about opinions this week? Share in the comments below and be sure to sign up for the newsletter for more tips about life.
Until next time…
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