Good morning sweet loves! Managing Valentine’s can be a drag. In just a few short days, it will be valentines day, and I have to share, as always, I could care less. I’m going to say it, as someone with a significant other I hate the way Valentine’s day makes people feel. Every year strong #bossbabes are faced with this one day that society says is all about love. But, really it’s a hallmark day to sell chocolate, cards, and flowers. What about the love we have for ourselves and the love we share with one another. In this post, I’m sharing four keys to managing Valentine’s day and where your focus should lie.
It seems like these holidays have become a game or a puzzle. Somehow we are being pushed into believing that holidays are a celebration of life and gratitude for what we have. But, really it feels like a push to buy bigger and better. And for those who don’t have or cannot keep up, they develop feelings of inferiority. If you don’t have a date, the self-loathing begins because no one would be sending you flowers. If you have a boyfriend, he better have that ring prepared or you draw the conclusion that he’s not serious about your relationship. And your hubby better realize it’s valentines day and you expect chocolate, gift, and ongoing gestures of love.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
What is all this pressure to make Valentine’s day something it isn’t? These expectations are set by a society that’s driven by money. But, you make the rules on your love life and your relationships. Do you want to base them on fake or material things, or do you want true love? In managing Valentine’s day, you have to recognize what love truly means. True love doesn’t need money to survive. You could love yourself without the flowers, and enjoy time with your boyfriend without the ring. Your marriage will go on without the three-ring circus of presents. If you expect material things to drive love, then you will build a lousy foundation. Love should be based on the integrity of your relationship whether it’s with yourself or someone else.
Managing Valentines day
I thought of some keys for you to remember when managing Valentine’s day. I will admit that I love certain candies and flowers and it feels nice to receive. However, I detest the emphasis that society puts on material things. Gifts are not the only special things about love nor are they everyone’s love language. The Self-Love challenge teaches that love isn’t about what you can buy but acceptance of what is and mutual work and practice to continue loving. Here are my keys for managing Valentine’s day:
- Look past the material things. Flowers and candies are nice. But a $50 4ft Teddy bear may be a bit excessive. Focus on what comes from within.
- Drop the petty expectations. Just because it’s Valentine’s day doesn’t mean you should have a date or be in a relationship. If your single, be single. Your life isn’t over because you don’t have another person on this particular day. If you’re in a relationship, enjoy each other, no need to pressure the relationship into being something it isn’t…yet.
- Do it yourself. If you want flowers that bad send them to yourself. Treat yourself and enjoy the love you’ve cultivated within.
- Stop with the pity party. This is not the time for self-loathing and guilt. You are better than that! Now is the time to check what you have done amazing thus far in your life and reaffirm how awesome you are. If you’re in a relationship, reaffirm what you’ve built together and the fun that you’ve already completed.
Don’t let society fool you, this day isn’t about the flowers and cards nor is it about the money. In managing Valentine’s day, you should know that this day is about the freedom to love. There was even a Saint Valentine who helped Christians wed in secret against a law that banned marriage. And, while it became associated with romance later there is no rule that says that love is material objects. Be in love with who you are and what you have right now.
So what do you do when you are managing Valentine’s day expectations? Share some of your thoughts in the comment section below. Be sure to check out the self-love challenge too!
Until next time…
Subscribe today to join the 14 day Self-Love Challenge! Take the steps to begin loving every bit of the skin you're in. The Challenge begins Feb. 1st