People travel for many reasons nowadays. One big reason is for work. At my place of employment, there is one doctor who lives in the North and travels home from North Carolina on the weekends to see his family. I couldn’t imagine spending the majority of the week, month, or year, away from my significant other on a regular basis. Many of us are stuck in a long distance relationship. Traveled love isn’t easy but in today’s times often necessary to find adequate work and meet the needs of the young professional.
In the beginning of my relationship with my husband, we had a long distant relationship. The distance motivated me to live closer to him and I moved the first chance I got. Now, just anticipating us traveling without each other is difficult. When you are in a long distance relationship there are so many adjustments you have to get used to. First, you adjust to being together, then separated, and then together again.
So how do you survive distant love? There are many ways that go beyond appreciating what you have, and while important, you want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. It’s important to be the best you, you can be during that time. Keep reading to learn more about how to survive your long distance relationship.
1. Learn to be Alone
It is not easy being by yourself. Whether you live in a house or an apartment you have to get used to all the noises your place makes when it’s settling. I personally get freaked out if the wind blows and knocks twigs against the window. Sometimes I can hear our neighbors making love in the middle of the night and that’s when I become really lonely. But then I suck it up and tell myself this is only temporary. Soon my mate will be back and I will not be alone. Then I try and figure out all the things that I can enjoy by myself.
Learning to be alone is like learning how to love yourself again. If you’re going to spend all this time on your own you might as well enjoy it, right? Which leads to my second helpful hint…
2. Get a Hobby
Alone time is time to hone in on those skills that attracted a mate in the first place. Hobbies are those things that you enjoy doing that occupy your mind. As a counselor, I have come across many kinds of hobbies including, cooking, cleaning, scrapbooking, crafting, Facebooking, reading, playing video games, dancing, sewing, surfing, playing air guitar, lip singing, hula hooping, etc. etc. etc…. Hobbies are anything that interests you and brings you pleasure or relaxation or even both. I am a huge advocate for hobbies because they can not only bring sanctuary to you, but they can make you some money if you have any skill at your hobby.
3. Make Some Friends
Depending on why your mate travels you are most likely a part of a very specific group. My boo is in a band and there happen to be other ladies who are at home too while the band travels. Occasionally I will spend time with the other ladies and catch up with them. This is a good way to relate to other people about without having to explain. Adjusting to when someone is preparing to leave or is already gone can be a daunting task. It is always helpful having someone nearby who knows that exact feeling. It’s also a really good excuse to have a girls/boys night out. Just be careful not to get into any trouble, being without your mate can cause all sorts of emotions, it’s important you are around people that help you make healthy choices. Plus, it could be really tragic if you wake up to some stranger after a long night of partying with the ladies/fellas.
4. Spend Time on Your Relationship
Now this one may sound a little weird. How can one work on their relationship if someone absents you may ask? Well, a relationship really is two wholes coming together to eventually to form one. This is the perfect time for to you realize your love (or maybe not ) for your partner, and of course, express that.
When my boo and I lived in two completely different states, I sent care packages to him and he sent me love letters. This may seem extremely sappy, but it was a great way to feel close even though we were far apart. It’s also a great way to track memories because he kept those packages and whenever we stumble across them we remember those days. It’s a humbling experience because we see where we came from.
If it’s hard to send mail there are other ways to work on your relationship. One good way that you may not even need your partner for is reading. In shared reading, you can both get the same book, read it and then share your thoughts and opinions on the book. The books can be great conversation starters and a mutual experience, shared between the both of you.
Though this list is short, these suggestions can really help ease your heart in your long distant relation. It also helps you stay sane and of course keeps you invested in your love and yourself. It’s always hard to remember there is a purpose behind all of his traveling. Though difficult, this time can be used to your advantage as well. This is one of those instances when love gives you lemons you have to learn to make lemonade.
What tips do you have for surviving a long distance relationship? Share in the comments below.
until next time…
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